Don’t stop me now! Ten reasons why Queen suck
November 21, 2008 by admin
Queen rank alongside Abba as one of those bands that EVERYONE seems to love. Saying you don’t worship at the altar of Mercury and co is generally greeted with dumfounded looks, and maybe even some disappointed tutting. It seems as though even the coolest kids can see the benefit of Bohemian Rhapsody and have no idea of the downside of Don’t Stop Me Now
But not me. To my mind Queen are the most over-rated acts in the history of popular music – and here’s why…
1 Queen never made a Great album
Queen were a singles band, like Brother Beyond or any current X-Factor wannabe. In fact, they probably would have been on the X-Factor if they were around now. Singles and videos they had plenty of – but how many times do you see a Queen album in a top 100 albums list? Night at the Opera, oh give me a break. Ask anyone what their favourite Queen album is and nine out of ten times they will say Greatest Hits.
2 That Live Aid Performance
I can almost feel the stones being readied, but c’mon, a bit of over-the-top, vaguely fascistic grandstanding and we all have to hail it as the greatest concert performance ever. Nonsense! For starters it was only 20 minutes long! No, I say no! It was just a bit less rubbish than most of the other stuff on there – and nowhere near as good as U2’s rudely truncated stint earlier in the day. Here’s a reminder.
3 They broke the Sun City boycott
In the words of uber fan Ben Elton – a little bit of politics. They played Sun City during apartheid, Steve Van Zant told me in his protest song, Ain’t Gonna Play Sun City. Do I need to explain that they it for money, and it was a very, very bad thing to do. No matter how much Brian May back-pedals and says he doesn’t agree with a cultural boycott, one was in place.
4 ‘Jaws was never my scene and I don’t like Star Wars’
Sorry Freddie, Jaws is one of the best films ever made IMO, and as for Star Wars, it was my pretty much my life growing up so you can sod right off.
5 They reformed without Freddie Mercury
What kind of money grabbing foolishness is that! They are touring now! With some bloke out of Free! It’s like INXS without Hutchence, The Jam without Weller, or Zeppelin without Plant! They’d never have done… what? …ooh right….
7. That poster that came with Jazz
Okay, I must admit that at first my parent’s copy of Jazz on vinyl was intriguing, especially with that fold-out poster of lots of ladies on bicycles… naked ladies on bicycles. But to a sensitive pre-teen boy it was downright confusing. I liked what I saw, but didn’t really understand it. Was this image taken from Grandstand? Was this a proper sport? Surely that’s unhygienic? Why would they confuse a boy like that!
8 We Will…
Don’t get me started on the West end musical
9 We Will …
I said don’t get me started…
10 Rock You!
Okay then, you asked for it. What a load of old twaddle. The music of Queen saves the future world or some such Bill And Tedesque nonsense. And, to make it even worse, it’s written by bloody Ben Elton. They played some of it at the ceremony that launched the start of London’s Olympic hosting, and if that’s the best we can offer the world when 2012 I’m booking my holidays now!
Shaun
Bit harsh Shaun. I am no fan but Seven seas of Rye is great and the singles were pretty hummable.
Agree about LIve Aid though. I hated most of the bands that day. I think Queen only looked good because so many other acts were so mediocre.
Ok few things here:
I owe a lot to Queen, they are the first band I ever got into and have a lot of fab childhood memories attached to lots of their songs…..namely “friends will be friends” being played loudly in the car by my Mum on the way back from Aldershot lido to me and my BF Nick when we had had one of our silly teenage rows.
The Freddie Mercury Tribute concert introuduced me to Guns n Roses and Metallica and made me realise just how naff Bob Geldof and Def Leopard where.
I agree Jaws is a good film but like Freddie I too don’t like Star Wars - way overrated!
And one point I must agree on - We Will Rock You is shit because it is a musical and everyone knows musicals are bollocks.
Freddie’s dissing of Jaws and Star Wars seems all the more bizarre when you consider that they were happy to do the soundtracks for such cinematic “classics” as Highlander and Flash Gordon!
Shaun, you forgot Brian May on the roof of Buckingham Palace!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUqTGZIexn4
OK, so Queen are pretty shit - especially in their current …with Paul Rogers incarnation, for every ying there is a yang
1 - They were a singles band. Right. Well, so were the Beatles until 1964, New Order, The Smiths and the Jam. Hardly a bad thing.. Next
2 - You let your self down here by saying U2 were good…. Next….
3 - Fair point, well made
4 - Ditto
5 - And again
6 - Oh, you dont have a 6
7 - I like Naked Ladies, so this is a positive. Compare and contrast with the frankly terrifying inside of Bummed by Happy Mondays and consider yourself lucky.
8, 9, 10 - Associating with Ben Elton - should be a capital offence.
So in summary
Negatives
- know Ben Elton
- don’t like blockbuster movies
- support racist regimes
- made Shaun have sexually confused adolescence
- were the sexually “deviant” band it was OK for Mondeo man to like (”I dont like them pooves much, but isnt it funny when Freddie dresses up as a woman”?)
Positives
+ Brian May married someone with the same hair as him
+ and he made his own guitar with araldite
+ and he’s an astronomer
+ Freddie Mercury did know how to have a good party
+ Barcellonnnaaaaa!!!!!
+ y’know some of their songs were a bit catchy….
I think its the Ben Elton connection that damns them….
Ahh yes, no six. Let’s have Monnshiner’s Buckingham Palace fiasco at six then! Better?
Here’s a question: is it admirable that, despite being in a rock band, Brian May persists in such un-rock’n'roll behaviour? The astromony Phd, the geeky guitar, Anita Dobson, the hair… In some ways, it’s so uncool it’s cool. On the other hand, is it just uncool?
Moonshiner, no, it’s not admirable. Brian May was the special guest for the last few songs at Motorhead’s 25th anniversary show, and his un-coolness pretty much ruined my entire night!
Totally agree with the Queen piece - although I do have a soft spot for Don’t Stop Me Now and You’re My Best Friend.
Most of their ouput was horribly overblown, theatrical rock opera guff,wasn’t it?
I went to buy Mojo last month and was horrified to find Queen on the cover - I had to ask for it to be put into a brown paper bag, rather like a porn mag, which takes us nicely back to naked ladies.
Everyone always harps on about Mercury being such a ’showman’. Yawn - he’s no Mozzer or Bowie - he had a bloody ‘tache for god’s sake.
Facial hair in pop - now there’s an idea for a feature!
1. So what if Queen did a lot of singles, so what? How does that make them bad? And for your information, my favourite album of thiers is Innuendo. Better than A Night at the opera IMO.
2. So what if it was 20 minutes long? They were on longer than any other band. The remarkable thing about that performance was that they were not performing to a Queen audience. They were there to see all the other bands not just Queen. Yet the entire stadium of 80,000 people clapped in unison and did the hand movements to radio gaga, it just shows how immensly popular they were. It is your opinion that they only seemed good because all the others were just mediocre, but you will find that the vast majority disagree with you
3. So what if they played at Sun City during the appartheid? Does that make them a bad band? no. Yeh I agree it was a mistake but how where they to know it was that bad over there?
4. I doubt he was slagging off those films because he disliked them. it just made for catchy lyricks. I bet you wouldnt care one bit about any films, no matter how good, if you saw a load of naked ladies riding by on bicycles.
5. They never broke up (at least not to my knowledge) so they didn’t “reform”. You may have noticed that they are all talented musicians in thier own right. You may also have noticed that Paul Rodgers IS NOT part of Queen. That is why they call it Queen + Paul Rodgers. Besides, he is VERY VERY good. Better than Freddie Mercury in some ways IMO.
7. So what, I wouldnt mind recieving a poster like that when I purchase an album. Posters a band make dont make them suck, END OF!!!
10. I bet you havn’t even SEEN WWRY. It is not the music of Queen that saves the world, that’s not what it is about. I will let you find out the storyline yourself if you care so much that you make a website. You dont have to be a fan of Queen to appreciate how good a performance it is.
QUEEN IS THE GREATEST BAND EVER!!!!!! NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY… LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!!!!!